


Games

by Roadstergal



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adoption, Canonical Character Death, Childbirth, Depression, Drinking, F/M, Gen, Holidays, Loss, M/M, Other, Pregnancy, Sacrifice, Self-Sacrifice, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-10 01:03:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18928150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roadstergal/pseuds/Roadstergal
Summary: Vignettes inspired by Endgame.  It made no goddam sense, but at least it had some feels to work with.





	1. Chapter 1

He is a small man.

It's a reality that never felt so real to Steve as it did now, seeing Tony on the hospital bed, seeing him take up far too little of it.  A technician ignores Steve as he does his tasks over Tony's emaciated body.  He slides a needle into the man's arm, slowly and carefully; Tony groans, a sound so long and deep and sexual that it gives Steve a very inappropriate erection.

It's fitting, really, that Tony is surrounded by machines. That they are nurturing him, penetrating him, caring for him.

His heart used to be on his chest, quite literally. Did he notice that the glow changed with his mood? It pleased Steve to see it wax and wane. It pleased him to see it blaze brightly when he looked at Steve.

But then he removed it, and something was lost. How was it that the death hovering over him had made him seem more alive?

The boy - Peter - loved him. Steve had tried not to hate him for it, and now he was gone. _Kid_ , Tony had called him, a dismissive diminutive on its surface - but there was so much loss in his eyes on the ramp that Steve thought he might fall into them and never find his way out.

"I have to piss." Tony's voice was harsh enough to polish vibranium.

Steve brought over the bedpan. Tony's little dick was hard; Steve had to bend it down to let him do his business.  He tried not to think about _why_.  About how Tony seemed to relish physical pain, invite it.

Afterwards, Tony shivered until the bed shook.  He had always been warm, excessively warm, and everything was different now. Steve climbed into the bed to warm him, awkwardly, carefully, nervous about knocking any of the needles and tubes aside.  He wished he could love Tony like they did. Penetrate him and fill him. Make him better.

"You should be with Bucky."

"He's gone."

The machines beeped quietly, soothingly.


	2. Chapter 2

Christmas feels like an insult. He drinks cognac straight from the bottle, sticks a spring of mistletoe up his ass, and Pepper retires to bed in a huff.  Like rituals matter anymore. Like it's somehow more of an insult to dance naked and drunk around a tree than it is to simply be alive, still.

Valentine's day is a horrorshow.  _I'm glad you're not dust_ is the only possible sentiment, and far too many people can't buy that card. It passes with an embarrassed cough, punctuated by the sort of wails that only the bereaved can make.

Mother's day is watching others weep, Father's day is a paroxysm of guilt.

"You're looking better." Steve always looks magnificent. As much as he did when Tony was stumbling down the ramp, light headed, so hungry that every movement felt like an orgasm.

"Damning with faint praise." Pepper is pregnant. She says it's his. That's impossible for so many reasons, but the sentiment is appreciated.  She draws his hand to her stomach, and he feels the kicking and struggles of one hopelessly trapped. _I get it,_ Tony whispers to the fetus.

Pepper insists that it all be natural. _Natural_ turns out to be blood and helpless screaming and no small amount of feces.  It makes sense.  She cries when he holds her.  She sleeps when Steve does.

She hates electronics. She draws pictures of such vivid color and imagination that it takes his breath away. _What if I had been a girl_. What if you hadn't made me fight so hard. He knows the legacy of fathers.  The greatest gift he can give her is to step away.

Soul is dubious. The rest are more direct.  _He gave his daughter, the light of his life, to control me. What do you have to offer?_

Tony had no words for the sort of father who would give his daughter for anything in the universe. He only had feelings, so he poured them into the Stone. _No_ _. I will not give my daughter. Not for all of creation_.

_And will you give yourself for her?_

Gladly. For her, for Pepper, for Steve, for Peter, for Rhody, for all of them... everyone he loved.

And it was acceptable.  They took him, greedily, as they did his bidding, and left the rest.


End file.
